Craig's MovieBlog

Dork Test

I really, really want the shirt that J.J. Abrams wore to Comic-Con today.  I am such a dork.

Michael Bay Has Free Time

This has to be a joke, right?

Apparently, making movies about Giant Freaking Robots, or sleeping with a different Playboy Playmate every year isn't as time consuming as we would all think.  I say this, because Michael Bay is apparently a regular reader of the Northwest Herald.  Not familiar with the Northwest Herald?  It's the source for "local news and video for McHenry County, Illinois." 

Today's homepage leads with "Red tape threatens organic farmer" and there's not one mention of Lindsay Lohan's arrest anywhere.  How dare they call themselves a legitimate news source?

Me?  I let my subscription lapse after they shelved their swimsuit issue.

Anyway, Mike didn't like what their movie reviewer wrote about his Transformers movie, so he took the time to write a letter to the editor. 

Let me repeat that slightly differently.  Michael Bay actually gives a crap about what the movie reviewer for the Northwest Herald said about his movie, which as of today, has now grossed over $458 million worldwide.  Apparently not sure how to spend all his money, he decided to send them a letter telling them how much he cares about what the Northwest Herald thinks:

“To the Editor:

The Northwest Herald’s movie critic, Jeffrey Westhoff, seems to be woefully out of touch with pop culture.

The Transformers movie’s $155 million seven-day haul is the biggest non-sequel opening in box office history. Numbers like that usually mean positive word of mouth on the film is huge, and people are going back.

A friend of mine, Steven Spielberg, he’s pretty smart about film, said Westhoff’s review was idiotic. Westhoff’s a critic who actually reviewed his dislike for the director, rather then reviewing the movie, like his job description prescribes. Westhoff talks about the director being an “egomaniacal hack.” Well I don’t believe I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting Westhoff, though it sounds like he knows me. If Westhoff actually did know me, he would find me to be a pretty down-to-earth, nice guy.

I implore the editor to give Westhoff a little relaxation and sunshine, clear his head, let him rediscover that movie-going is supposed to be a fun experience.

Maybe even help him get rid of his hatred.

Michael Bay
Director of Transformers
Los Angeles, Ca.”

"Dude... relax... get some sun... and be a down-to-earth multi-millionaire that hangs with Spielberg, just like me... another down-to-earth guy."

Or, maybe I shouldn't be surprised, since Joe Carnahan sent me email... and I'm pretty sure my readership is smaller than the Northwest Herald.

Who Do You Avoid At All Costs?

 Polls like these are best taken with multiple grains of salt, because the open-ended nature of them allows someone to appear on both a "must-see" and a "must-avoid" list simultaneously.

However, the Chicago Tribune's Pop Machine blog is continuing their informal poll of who denotes quality and who denotes, um... not quality.   ;)  You may remember the "quality" list from a few weeks ago.

10 (tie). Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez (together again at 8 votes each)
7-9 (tie). Kevin Costner, Angelina Jolie, Ashton Kutcher (9 votes each)
5, 6 (tie). Jim Carrey, Julia Roberts (10)
3, 4 (tie). Will Ferrell, Adam Sandler (11).
2. Robin Williams (12)
1. Tom Cruise (27)

Based on these results, I think the best conclusion you can draw is that people who go to movies don't spend time voting in online surveys about movies.  Box office success apparently guarantees you a spot in the top half of this list.

I also enjoy thinking about meetings where films like Gigli and The Guardian, where multiple people on this list are working together.  "How do you think we can alienate twice as many moviegoers?"  "I know... Ashton Kutcher and Kevin Costner together!!"

The Bourne Ultimatum Might Be Good

Can't.  Freaking.  Wait.

David Poland, The Hot Button - "The Bourne Ultimatum is ultimately one the three best films of the year"

Kristopher Tapley, In Contention - "The Bourne Ultimatum is the most riveting, most creative, most stimulating film of what has already proven itself to be a thoroughly engaging series of films."

Jeff Wells, Hollywood Elsewhere - "I think it's an action movie milestone"

Todd McCarthy, Variety Magazine - "If they could bottle what gives The Bourne Ultimatum its rush, it would probably be illegal. The third and purportedly final installment in the mountingly exciting series is a pounding, pulsating thriller that provides an almost constant adrenaline surge for nearly two hours."

The Darjeeling Limited Trailer

I don't even know how to pronounce this... thank goodness we're on a blog and I don't actually have to speak to all of you.  Anyway, I'll just call it the next Wes Anderson movie trailer.

David Loves Hairspray

"I liked the movie the first time I saw it.  I loved it the second time."

Gone Baby Gone Trailer

Yes, it looks like Mystic River 2, but that doesn't mean that Gone Baby Gone doesn't have potential.  I'm also way too excited to see what Casey Affleck can do in a starring role in a major studio release.

Oh, and it's directed by Ben Affleck... don't tell anyone.

More Craig Links - Less Bitter This Time

Sorry, not sure what got into me yesterday.  The list of top ten tv shows just really rubbed me the wrong way.

Anyway, here are a few more links that caught my eye... other than the Cloverfield trailer that everyone is murmuring about and that Paramount is taking off of YouTube as fast as they can type...

• A new blog that I've been reading (mostly for the technology posts) called AppScout has a nice roundup of the best web marketing efforts from the movie studios this summer.  I'm sure Chris over at Movie Marketing Madness would love this... and have an opinion or two.
• The Chicago Tribune's blog, Pop Machine, held a poll asking readers which stars they could most rely on to imply quality in a film.  The results are in, and the winners are:

  9 and 10. Edward Norton, Denzel Washington (8 votes each)
  7 and 8. Christian Bale, George Clooney (9 each)
  5 and 6. Leonardo DiCaprio, Morgan Freeman (10 each)
  4. Cate Blanchett (14)
  3. Johnny Depp (17)
  2. Kate Winslet (18)*
  1. Meryl Streep (19)*

  I'm stunned Andy Dick and Jessica Simpson didn't make the cut.  Actually, I'm more stunned that Tom Hanks didn't make the top 10, but I'm not sure who I'd remove from the list.  Wait, is anyone else surprised that Christian Bale got 9 votes?  Mind you, I don't disagree, and I would have voted for him myself, but I didn't think that he was popular enough to break into George Clooney territory.  To me, though, if Daniel Day-Lewis is in a film, that just screams high caliber work.  Looks like he only got three votes.

• This might be the best email exchange ever between two Hollywood heavyweights.

I Want To Throw Up

Here are the top ten most watched television shows for the week ending July 1:

1. America's Got Talent (NBC)
2. CSI (CBS)
3. So You Think You Can Dance - Weds (FOX)
4. So You Think You Can Dance - Thurs (FOX)
5. Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader (FOX)
6. Two and a Half Men (CBS)
7. CSI: Miami (CBS)
8. Princess Diana Concert (NBC)
9. So You Think You Can Dance - Weds, 8pm (FOX)
10. Law and Order: SVU (NBC)

American Idol and Survivor aren't even airing these days, but it's still packed with crappy reality shows. 

Honestly?  How dumb are we?  We deserve everything that happens to us as a society.