With The Break-Up opening this weekend, it must be time for the snarky blogs to turn their attention to Mr. Vaughn, who (as avid readers will remember) I believe deserved an Academy Award nomination for his turn in Wedding Crashers. I'm not kidding.
Anyhow, not only is this Imaginary Interview with Vince Vaughn absolutely hilarious...
Hyperactive? Who’s hyperactive? Are you hyperactive, ‘cause I think you are just jumping around like a regular Mexican jumping bean firing off questions left and right and not letting old Vince get a word in edgewise! I mean, hell man, if you want this interview over just say the word and I’ll take this [slaps own ass] sweet thing right out the door – last thing you see. Or maybe I’ll just sprinkle a couple lines on this table and we get down to business. Your choice.
Where was I? Yes, the Jay asks the eternal question, "Do You Speak Vince Vaughnese?" and includes so many Vince Vaughn quotes, you may end up losing your whole day reading this one:
“You and I both know I’m a phenomenal dancer!”
“Dorothy Mantooth is a saint! You understand me? Dorothy Mantooth is a saint!”
“I hate you, Ron Burgundy! I hate you! But damn, if I don’t respect you.”
VV: “Whoa. Whoa. Why the F-ing? Why in front of the kid? All ya gotta do is say “earmuffs” to him, and you can say anything, “Fuck, shit, bitch.”
Frank the Tank: “Cock. Balls.”
VV: “I’m just trying to make a point, Frank. You don’t have to celebrate it.”
“John, I was first team All-State. I can put the ball anywhere I want to. I’ll make it rain out here.”
“There’s nothing wrong with letting the girls know that you’re money and that you want to party.”
“Well why don’t you give me your number in case anything happens to my wife.”
VV: “There’s someone out there for everybody.”
Owen: “You think?”
VV: “Absolutely. In some cases, there’s two somebody’s for one person. I like to call that “the jackpot”.”